Have an average day!
For about 5 years I was a solo parent of 3 school aged kids. During that same period I was starting my consulting business. It was a busy time!
I spent a tremendous percentage of my of time feeling like I was behind, under resourced, and generally failing. This was not a situation that cultivates positive mental health, nor was it an ideal head space for growing my business.
Sometime later I learned the concept of “good enough parenting” which posits that holding parents (and parents holding themselves) to the very highest standards doesn’t produce better parenting outcomes. A parent who is uptight, fearful, and ashamed is using up valuable mental, psychological and physical resources managing themselves instead of using those resources to be present with their children.
It turns out that living in fear of judgment, self criticism, and perfectionism doesn’t enable us to be at our most loving, creative, generous best! (Who knew?)
The same is true with you
Listening to leaders I hear some of the same challenges. Most leaders are life-long “high-performers,” with a drive to be the best, some are even addicted to achievement.
We’re also under substantial scrutiny from team members who perceive “management” as extractive ogres looking to exploit “the workers.” (A slight exaggeration, but if you’ve experienced it, you know what I mean.)
As the team size grows so do the leadership challenges, and it can feel like a high-wire act to create performance for the company, maintain engagement with the team members, and stay sane.
Enter the “good enough leader.”
What if we give up the ideal of perfection? What might happen if you told your teams that you’re working toward masterful leadership, but for today, you’re shooting for “good enough,” accepting that it’s likely you’ll make mistakes from time to time-to-time.
Clients I’ve worked with who do this haven’t faced mutiny, nor did the team slouch down to mediocrity, rather the leader’s vulnerability draws people toward them. They become more approachable and find that they can both receive and give empathy more freely to their team.
Instead of feeling like the boss is separate from them, they see the boss as human. It doesn’t diminish the team’s respect, being more authenticity and honest deepens it.
The good enough leader who stops trying to be flawless has access to more energy and creativity. They are more free to experiment and collaborate or even ask for help from their teams. Which actually increases the team performance.
I wonder if, as you’ve been reading this, did your shoulders drop down a bit? Did your stress level come down a notch?
If so, this might be a sign that you might want to give good enough leadership a chance.
