I spent two hours the other morning struggling to write a single email.

I made two different starts. Neither of them felt right. As the deadline for sending it loomed, my frustration and anger rose, further clouding my thinking. My natural instinct in those moments is to bear down. To push harder, forcing the words onto the page through sheer will.

But I’ve learned (the hard way) the truth of one of my father’s favorite sayings, “When you are in a hole, stop digging!”

The trap of “doubling down”

It has taken me a long time to learn: more effort does not always mean more progress. When I’m in the right frame of mind, ideas just flow. Work feels light. But on other days, every task feels heavy and difficult, and all I can see is how hard everything is.

Instead of asking for help or taking a break, my brain believes that it’s better to sit in the chair longer and stare at the screen harder. Instead of a breakthrough, I usually end up with a headache.

A different way

On that day, I tried something different. Instead of doubling down, I got up from my desk, went outside, and took a 30-minute walk. While I was out there, I made a conscious choice not to think about the email. Instead, I practiced being present.

I looked for signs of spring—the first tiny buds on the trees and green shoots poking through the dirt. I listened for the birds and felt the warmth of the sun. I wasn’t “working” on the problem; I was focused on observing the world around me.

A walk isn’t the right thing for everyone. I have some clients who spend 15 minutes juggling balls, while others listen to music and dance. The activity doesn’t matter — as long as it changes your state.

Finding harmony and resonance

As I rounded the corner toward home, the fog cleared. I saw what I needed to say and how to say it.

I finished the email in 20 minutes. It wasn’t just done; it felt easy. There was a sense of harmony and resonance in the words that I couldn’t have forced an hour earlier. I said what needed saying with the right tone and the right delivery.

By “wasting” 30 minutes on a walk, I  created time. Had I started with the walk, I would have been done in 50 minutes. Instead, I wasted two hours struggling!

Choosing your headspace

I eventually learned that there’s a name for this mental “weather.” In leadership circles, we talk about being “above the line” or “below the line.”

When I’m seeing only scarcity and difficulty, I’m below the line. That’s not the time to double down on my workload. It’s time to stop and tend to my mindset. To get back above the line.

It’s easy to feel like the ‘work’ is the email. But I’ve realized that the real work is managing the person writing the email. My first job isn’t to answer the email; it’s to get back into a productive headspace so I can write the email with clarity and ease.

I keep a Steve Chandler quote on my desk to remind me of this. He says, “You can accomplish your goal in a very relaxed, slow, and fun way.”

When I read that, I have to stop and wonder: How much time am I wasting by trying to move too fast?

I’m curious—how are you living out that sense of “relaxed and fun” in your work today? If you’ve found a way to shift from pushing to flowing, I’d love to hear about it. Just hit reply and let me know.

If this concept is still a challenge for you, I’d love to hear from you, too!