At the beginning of this year, I decided to stop complaining.

I noticed that I tended to complain about things I didn’t feel I had the agency to do anything about. Whether it was the daily news, long-standing intractable habits of my family members, or business dilemmas that didn’t go how I wanted them to, my complaints (when I slowed down to listen to them) mainly were me feeling sorry for myself or otherwise wallowing in my victimhood.

When I complained about these things, I felt myself out of alignment with what was. In other words, the world is a way I don’t like, so I’m going to be upset that it isn’t complying with my wishes. Since I can’t make the world change, and I don’t want to change, I will complain.

When I say it like that, I don’t want to engage in this behavior!

Complaining is like waving the white flag. It’s giving up my agency, creativity, and capability and instead sitting and having a little pity party.

Is that wrong?

But complaining isn’t all bad. It does let off some steam. It allows me to vent my negative feelings about a hopeless situation.

But what if that “steam” was serving me? Instead of letting that “steam” vent, what if I used it to fuel my creativity and find a different way to relieve it?

Is there an action I could take, a conversation I could have, or an innovation I could embrace that would make the situation less hopeless, give me more agency, and potentially eliminate the misalignment I have with what is?

Or maybe, as I contemplate those actions, conversations, or innovations, I realize that the situation is not that big a deal, and I don’t have to give it another thought.

How about you? What is complaining doing for you? What impact is it having on those around you? Should you keep doing it, or is it time to give it up?