Why doesn’t this ever work?

A few weeks ago, I talked about how “being with what is” is a leadership superpower, so when I heard this Byron Katie quote this week, it hit me hard!

“When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.” ~ Byron Katie

Right away, some examples came to mind:

That was such a good lead; I’m sure that deal will close!

So I chase after them, following up over and over. The reality is that the deal is lost. I lose by wasting valuable time pursuing a dead deal when I could spend that time filling the top of the funnel with new leads that might close.

But filling the funnel is hard work, and this one was so close.

She interviewed well; her references checked out; and I’m sure she will improve.

Instead of taking her performance at face value, I paint a rosy picture to avoid the pain of firing her and starting another search. I lose when my team sees me avoiding my responsibility to deal with her performance, plus the consequences of her poor performance!

Wishing she’d perform is helping me to avoid the hard work of supervising, training, and even terminating her (if that’s what it comes to).

I can get these ten things done this afternoon, no problem!

It is hard to set priorities and even harder to tell clients I will miss my commitment to them! But there’s no way to get it all done this afternoon. I lose when I come home stressed and feel like I didn’t live up to my commitments to my clients or myself.

Where are you arguing with reality today? How much is it costing you?