I was in a meeting recently with a nonprofit I’m committed to, talking through a challenging problem with people I care deeply about. I offered a suggestion, and the comment that came back felt like a physical blow. It wasn’t an attack, at least not an obvious one, but in that instant, I felt completely misunderstood. I felt like my perspective was being dismissed, that my expertise was being questioned.

Instantly, my blood pressure rose, my muscles tightened, and I leaned forward to prepare for a fight.

Have you ever felt that?

Here comes the train crash…

In a flash, the entire purpose of the meeting faded away. All the good intentions, all the shared goals, all the care I had for the people in the room—it all got swallowed up by a single thought: I have to prove I’m right.

I lost my bearings. The conversation wasn’t about the problem anymore. It wasn’t about the purpose of the meeting. It wasn’t even about the other person. The conversation was about me and my feelings, about my ego’s desire to win an argument no one else was even having. I was so wrapped up in my own feelings that I couldn’t hear what was being said, and as I focused on defending myself, I stopped leading.

I call this being emotionally hijacked. I think I’m still in the meeting, still in the conversation, but in reality, I’ve left. I’ve gone somewhere else entirely. I’ve stepped onto an emotional roller coaster, and my feelings, not my purpose, are now driving my actions, words, and energy.

And in that moment, when I choose to push back, to litigate, to argue, I stop building with the folks in the room. I stop creating. I create pain and friction instead. I miss the opportunity to have a genuine connection or an honest conversation because I’m too busy pushing against a boulder I could have just walked around.

The other person’s comment isn’t the problem; it’s my reaction to it. And I’m creating the problem in my own head!

Finding My Way Back

The good news? It’s all about recovery.

When I get knocked off my path, and I will, it’s a natural part of being human. I can’t avoid the feelings, but I can choose to attend to them and get back to center as quickly as I can. Getting back on track isn’t about denying the emotion, nor is it about winning the argument. It’s about choosing to get back to what I came here to do. It’s about re-centering. It’s about choosing in that moment to get off the roller coaster.

It’s about giving myself the grace and the space to ask a simple question.

What’s one small thing I can do right now to get off the emotional roller coaster and back on track?

Do you have moments like these? How do you recover and get back to center? I’d love to hear what works for you. Hit reply and let me know (I read every email and respond to most of them!)